Can you be gay and asexual

To identify as a homoromantic asexual means that one must navigate within every space in a very distinct manner. If that's the case, you can be gay and attracted to the same sex but not want to engage in actual sex with them. I am Michael Paramo, a homoromantic asexual Latinx man who has lived in southern California for the entirety of my life.

I remained silent, lips hopelessly wavering in moments of brevity when feelings of fearlessness arose only to be trampled upon by a reminder of the potential consequences. There are two main reasons why an asexual may consider themselves gay or lesbian. An allo-sexual person can be in a relationship with a gay, romantic, asexual person.

In understanding this, it is of paramount importance to recognize that romantic attraction and sexual attraction do not always have to align with one another. To help push back against misconceptions that can harm asexual people like me as we seek out love—whether platonically or romantically—and fulfilling lives, SELF talked to experts and asexual.

I recall searching, almost indignantly, throughout the internet looking for any trace of who I was in others, left only with a handful of blog posts. I have existed in relative isolation for the majority of my twenty-three years as a result of seemingly innumerable reasons, and I am certain that my homoromantic asexual identity is one of them.

I retreated into myself as a coping mechanism. In this personal essay, Michael Paramo reflects on his experience as a homoromantic asexual in southern California and examines how this identity has played an integral role in shaping his life. And how could I then blame them entirely for my own internal desolation?

You can be attracted to someone without feeling the urge to have sex with them. Separation was my answer. Being amidst those whose religious convictions conflicted with my very identity meant that expressing my homoromanticism openly would not only be taboo, it would also be sin.

Of course, it was only my asexuality, but it was a beginning. We exist as an unknown few belonging to an already largely unknown sexual orientation. Of course, I quickly devoured them, soaking in their experiences, strongly relating to the words of others who I presumed endured the same feelings that I felt — those who were walking in similar shoes to mine.

I was debilitated by the constant concealment, exhaustively shielding myself behind an ever-thinning veil of straightness. It is both an identity and a spectrum. Pressure eventually becoming overwhelming, I revealed my asexuality openly one day. The first is that while they may not experience sexual attraction, they may still feel some other form of attraction.

This might be a bit trickier, because one person does have the need for sex while the other doesn’t. Feelings of fermenting disgust blended with the greatest of anxieties to culminate in what felt to be a raw expression. How it materialized was rather spontaneous, a conversation sparking something deep within that told me that I could not continue living this way.

For they did not know what they had done. The same type of phenomenon is also possible for the asexual individual. Asexual people are sometimes known as ace or aces for. I let them possess the power over me, and I still do in many respects. Perhaps it would now be best to properly introduce myself.

We are disseminated throughout the internet, dotted on dating sites, isolated on discussion forums, scattered on social media platforms — lost in the billions. At the end of the day, be who. and still be ace as well—it’d be called homoromantic/biromantic asexual, and basically what that means is you experience romantic attraction to the same sex (homoromantic) or to two or more genders (biromantic).

Someone homoromantic and asexual may not experience sexual attraction toward anyone but does experience romantic desire towards some people of a similar gender as their own. You can be gay, lesbian, bi, etc. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, just like homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality.

I desired to be with a man, I wanted a man to intellectually love, to hold his arms, to explore the world I so greatly feared, but my intense anxiety of transforming the dynamic that I held with those around me prevented me from doing so. When it comes to being gay, is your definition "sexual attraction to the same sex" or just "attraction to the same sex"?

Romantic attraction is distinct from sexual attraction in that one is attracted to the same gender, yet without any sexual contact or desire. In realizing that this reality of relative invisibility has maintained its prevalence since that time, it is probably best I define homoromantic asexuality before continuing any further.

Therefore, a homoromantic asexual is someone who is attracted to the same gender romantically, yet simultaneously not sexually attracted to anyone. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction or desire for sexual contact with anyone, regardless of gender. For example, one may be biromantic yet also be heterosexual.